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Weekly Mix- Strip


In college, two of my roommates and I had an experience that has since gone down in history as The Panty Thieves Incident. Ahem.

It was one roommate, Brooke’s, 22nd birthday. We and all of our close friends¬† hopped a train into Manhattan for the open bar of Brooke’s choosing. What she didn’t know, however, was that two (cute boy) friends we had made on our spring break vacation the month prior had come down from Boston to meet us. The night went on pretty much uneventfully until the very end, when the booze stopped flowing and we had to decide where the after party would be.

The birthday girl wanted to return to Westchester. This was fine for her, and the majority of our party, but our two other roommates, Rachel and Nikki, had eyes for the two cute Boston boys. Boston boys, who shall from here on be known as Thing 1 and Thing 2, were staying in the city with a college friend of theirs. They, Rachel, Nikki, Thing 1 and Thing 2, wanted to go back to college friend’s apartment. Now, where did I fit into this? Well, college friend, Sean, was slammin’. A true Irishman, a perfect foot taller than me, with deep eyes, a dark crew cut and big hands. This, combined with about a liter of dark rum, gave my knees a jelly-like quality that I had never previously known.

We had been chatting toward the end of the night and after discovering our mutual taste for tequila shots, I saw no problem with us all going back to his apartment for a bottle or two of merlot. Rachel, Nikki and I annouced that “No! We will not be taking the train back to our favorite sports bar for your birthday! We are going to go drink wine!” And so we did.

Sean the beautiful took us back to his beautiful Manhattan apartment, up to his beautiful roof to look at the beautiful landscape. And drink beautiful wine. We mustn’t forget the wine. When we came down from the roof Rachel, Thing 1, Nikki and Thing 2 settled in the living room and Sean and I went to his room. After spending what seemed like ages on his computer looking for good music ( I specifically remember getting angry because he had no Cake on his computer. I think I made him download some. Wine makes me bossy.). I don’t know how much time had passed between sitting on his computer and sitting in his bed. We had our fun that night and I woke up in the morning wondering how much fun we had. As I collected myself, I realized I couldn’t find something. My underwear. I put everything else on ( a drapey top/dress thing and leggings) and run to the bathroom. Turns out, Nikki and Thing 2 had their fun in the bathroom and broke the toilet. She, Rachel and I left shortly to walk to Grand Central, looking like a cross between the Whores of Babylon and extras for Sex and the City. As we were waiting for our train to come, we sat in the lower cafe and discussed our adventure. A very interesting point of discussion was when we realized that all of us had gone home without our underwear. Three panty thieves in one apartment. Well played, boys.

But where does the mixtape fit into this, you may ask? Well, after the incident, I couldn’t get my mind off of Sean. He was truly the most beautiful, successful guy I had ever bagged, and I was pissed I couldn’t even remember the important parts. Hours of fantasy manifested themselves into an idea. That one day, I would give Sean the Best Lap Dance Ever. “I am a girl with my own portable stripper pole! I can do this!” I told myself. I never did see Sean again ( not for lack of trying), but I did make an itunes playlist, inspired by Gala Darling and Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks,¬† just in case I ever got the opportunity to give him this great gift. Here is that playlist.

*All names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.


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