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30 Day Song Challenge- Day 2, Your Least Favorite Song


Whoo, doggy! Anyone who knows me knows that the ratio for what I dislike to what I do like is about 300:1. So today’s challenge (technically yesterday’s, since it is after midnight, but I was doing something really cool that I am going to tell you about in a post later this week) was certainly, well, challenging. So I cheated. I chose three, and all with good reason. After a long week at work, one of my favorite things to do on a Friday afternoon is indulge myself in a special pedicure. Don’t worry- the ‘special’ only means that they turn the massage chair on. This is especially good on a rainy day, and ten times better if it’s a rainy pay day. Some people take for granted the simple pleasure of getting to sit for a half an hour and read a trashy magazine. The pleasure of this only increases when a Korean man is painting your toes a color called Footloose. There is only one person that takes the pleasure out of these stolen moments and their name is Eric Carmen.

not to be confused with this man.

Now I can’t go so far as to say I dislike the man himself- he is responsible for Hungry Eyes after all.  But the two songs that play ( back to back) EVERY TIME I go to get my nails done are undoubtedly the two most miserable songs in existence. To add insult to injury, they sound exactly the same. So you’re sitting there wondering why this droning has been going on for eight minutes only to realize it’s a different fucking song. I want to ask the technicians if they’re as miserable as I am when they hear it, because if I had to listen to these two songs back to back, every day, I would have done nasty things with that cuticle clipper by now.

1. All By Myself- Eric Carmen

2. Shit! It’s not Eric Carmen, it’s Harry Nilsson! Sorry, dude- still fucking miserable.

The third is the creepiest song I’ve ever heard. I’ll let the lyrics speak for themselves.

Beneath your perfume and make-up
You’re just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it’s wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes

So goes “Young Girl” By Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. Even as a, ahem, young girl, I knew that shit ain’t right. That is what we call Date Rape. Back then, though, it was easy to sing about such things, along with other questionable topics like drugs, abortion and jive-talkin’  because creepy dudes were all “heartfelt” with their crooning. But just look at this guy- PEDOPHILE GLASSES.

Old dude, get out of my pants

But Brittney!”, you say, “That was stylish then!” Yeah, well I spend my time around a lot of hipsters and none of them…

You know what? I’m not even going there. This is gross, just listen.

And I lied about there being three. Bruno Mars pisses me off. Goodnight.

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